Timehop.  Have you heard of it?

I don't consider myself among the ranks of the technologically brilliant. In fact, I really have a love-hate relationship with the stuff.  I try, oh do I try.  I am raising teenagers at my house and the experts say, "stay relevant."  So, I'm giving it my best.  I took notice one day of this clever little app that my daughter was using called Timehop.  How fun?!  It gives you a snapshot of where you were (or what you've posted on Facebook) in the past years.  At the touch of an icon on a screen, I have had smiles erupt at first day of school pictures from 5 years ago, milestones reached in our home, and memories gone by.  

Today was no exception.

This a snapshot of life one year ago.  My bags were packed to head with an incredible team of women to serve in Burkina Faso, Africa.   To you, this simple picture from this simple app may look like luggage, nothing more.  To me, it is so much more.  It represents a benchmark.  At this very moment, my bags were packed more loosely than my heart, so full of anticipation!  I knew that I was going to have the privilege of seeing an incredible God work in the lives of my sisters sitting along side of me and my sisters on the other side of the world.  I knew that my feet were going to stand on the warm, sandy ground of Dorcas House, where girls are redeemed and restored.  I dreamed of dancing and praising God in the open, airy church of Central in Ouagadougou, with no reservation.  I could almost feel the fingers of our Compassion child around my hand while she proudly showed me her classroom.  ...and I longed to be near our son, whom we have not met, knowing that even though we would not embrace, I would be sleeping under the same African sky, only miles away.  Somehow, it was comforting.  

A lot has happened in a year.  God has stretched my heart with more enthusiasm than a child tugging on Silly Putty.  We have seen incredible highs and we have seen dark lows.  I wish I could tell you that I have faced both with rock-solid faith.  Some days, I have wondered how I could every doubt that God's hand is molding my very life and yet others, I have wondered how to remain still.  I shared a verse with a friend recently.  

2 Corinthians 12:9 ~  But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 

I believe this verse.  Some days, it requires obedience.  It requires trusting that when I feel like God can't possibly bring good out of circumstances, I know it.  Guess what, He is ALWAYS faithful!  I can scan back over the 'snapshots' of my heart and give thanks, knowing that God has remained in each detail.  But, as much fun as it is to look back, my thoughts and my heart are also stretched forward.  Today, one year later, there is a whole new team of women heading out.  

Last night, I had the privilege of praying for this team. I am full of anticipation of how God will grow the hearts of these women and love on the people of Burkina through them but, this team is special to me.  Lord willing, they will travel to Daniel's orphanage.  They are bringing physical items that are much needed but, they will also deliver hope to our son. They will remind him of his mom and dad who are longing to embrace him.  Of his brother and sisters who can't wait to know him.  Of a community and a church who has prayed for him so, so often.  And of a God, who has never, ever forsaken him, even if he felt like He has.  

I couldn't help it this morning...my heart was aching in my chest.  I laid my head on Shawn's shoulder and let the tears come.  I would love to be boarding that plane with them but, I know that when Daniel comes home, and he is feeling like nothing in his new world is familiar, he will pass these women in the halls of our church and be reminded of their time with him on the other side of the world.  I pray it brings him comfort.  I know it will for me. 

Please join me in praying for this team!  

Isaiah 58:11 ~ The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.  You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. 

If there is an app that will let me 'hop' ahead to a year from now, please let me know.  On second thought, don't tell me.  I wouldn't want to miss what God has planned for us in between.  

In His grace,

Lisa

In the appraisal world, we have a phrase we use... "The subject appears to have exceeded it's economic life."  Over time, a neglected home deteriorates.  Walls that once held promise of a bright future become tired and worn.  

I did an inspection today on a home for a purchase.  The family that was about to move into it met me there and we talked about how although the home was built in 1994 (how can that be 20 years ago already?!), it was well maintained and in great condition. I could see the anticipation in their faces as they prepared to settle in to their home. The house was solid and useful, because it was maintained.

Homes need to maintained or they lose their value.  So do relationships. 

This week I took my mom to visit an old friend.  As we made our way down their rural road to the farmhouse that holds so many memories, my mom looked at me and said, "I don't think I've been this way in 20 years."  We both thought for a minute and realized it had been more like 30.  As we pulled up the gravel drive, it was evident that the old barn had worn some but as my mom and her sweet friend embraced, it was clear their friendship hadn't.  To witness them 'maintain' their relationship and breathe new hope into it was such a blessing for me!

Don't neglect the relationships in your life that need some maintenance.  Before we know it, time gets away...

In His grace,
Lisa

Hebrews 10:24-25

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.  Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

There's more to this chapter...

For over a year, I have tried to share with much transparency, the highs and lows of bringing Daniel home.  It has been consuming and transforming as we anticipate how our family will look with Daniel in it.  You have literally offered a shoulder to cry on and countless hugs to see us through.  

You have been Jesus...with skin on.

There's more to this chapter though.  So much more to our family than adoption.  So much more to me as a mom. 

I was asked recently if I could sit in on a discussion to encourage young moms.  I was honored...then filled with doubt.  I have had so many wise, wise women pour into me as a wife and a mom over the years.  Their experience and guidance have gotten me through some impulsive decisions that would have gave way to tearing down my family rather than building it up.  I have always been intentional about surrounding myself with people much wiser than me in my walk as a mom.  I couldn't see it any other way.  I couldn't value them anymore. What could I offer though? 

I won't lie, I am still pondering that one but, I've learned a few things.  

1.) Children need to be loved the most when they are least lovable.  

When I was seventeen...almost eighteen years old and expecting my first child (Yes, 17...almost 18), some neighbors and friends put on a small baby shower for me in my mom's garage. I had been married just months before and was expecting my first child by our first anniversary.  At seventeen, I was so sure I was ready to grow up. (I won't turn back to that chapter at this point) Thinking back now, it was uncomfortable for them, the women at that shower. Of course it was. I sensed the doubt in their tone as they went around one by one sharing parenting tips in an attempt to help me be successful as a mom. Today, I don't remember what each woman said...except one. Emma was a stand-in Grandma to me.  She was a woman with a gruff exterior and a soft tender heart.  I haven't forgotten what she said.  "Children need to be loved the most when they are least lovable."  This has been permanently branded on my heart. Now...nearly 20 years later, I can't think of any other piece of advice that has held more true for my first born, blue eyed girl who is now a young woman.

With her permission, there's more to this story...this chapter of our lives.

It's interesting as I think back to that day in the garage.  I didn't doubt.  In fact, I was so sure of myself. 

I set out on my course to navigate the waters of motherhood and guess what, I wasn't so bad at it. When Alex cried, I held her, I changed her, I danced with her, I sang to her, and I loved her. When she conquered milestones, I cheered her on, urging her to keep on overcoming the next hurdle. I felt like I could anticipate her needs.  Sure, there were days.  Sometimes I was too tired, sometimes I was too impatient, sometimes I just didn't want to listen to one more story. This sweet child could talk your ears off and she never ran short of something interesting to share! 

But, I loved every.single.minute.  I mean it.  I was born to be a mom.

Then, something changed.  I couldn't 'kiss' the hurts away anymore and fear and doubt crept in. In the blink of an eye, or so it seemed, I couldn't anticipate the answers.  All of a sudden, I found my boat filling with water fast.  As my firstborn has become an adult, we have both had to redefine.  We have both had to face uncharted waters and it's been hard.  We've had to let go of unfair expectations and we've had to forgive...a lot.  

Parenting goes beyond giggles and first steps.  It goes beyond achievements and temper tantrums.  It requires love... 

1 Corinthians 13:3-7

"If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end."

...to the end.

This last year has been a year of transitions in so many ways as a mom. Carsen became a teenager, Bailey is making plans to drive soon, everything about our future now includes "the boys" as we anticipate Daniel coming home, and Alex and I are learning what it looks like to respect and love each other in our new roles.  Truth be told, I'm still not sure I'm doing such a great job at letting go but, those same women God has been faithful to surround me with all these years...their still there... 

Loving me when I am the least lovable.

In His grace,

Lisa

the next chapter.

the prologue. At one point or another, most of us have stuck our noses into a good page turner.  Some of us lost our love for reading not far beyond Cat in the Hat but a good story keeps us intrigued. A good story makes you lean in and an interesting plot challenges you to figure out the ending. Would the words of a story teller challenge you to read or listen on if the author didn't keep you captivated?  Even Dr. Suess keeps us guessing what the next mischievous adventure will be!  

the story. As I think back over the chapters of my own story, I wondered sometimes how the binding of my book wouldn't break. Sometimes it has taken courage and faith to turn the page and sometimes, I've tried to skip ahead.  But the ending is never rewarding without the story in between, is it?  It doesn't even make sense.  

the author. Hebrews 12:1-2 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

the next chapter.

A new chapter is unfolding in our lives.  Many of you have been written into our story as we step out in faith to bring our son Daniel home from Burkina Faso, Africa.  If you'd like to get up to speed, I have journaled this section of our 'book' at http://www.gofundme.com/2xjcg0. These pages have required a deepening of our faith and complete trust in the Author.  They have challenged us to not flip through the story too quickly and to trust in the ending. But we have read other 'books' by the Author...countless stories of redemption and victory and we look forward to allowing Him to write ours!  

the bookmark. So I'll place the bookmark here until next time.  Thank you for picking up our story.